When I don't do what I'm told to do......

...things get fucked up every time. My hunny is an amazing man and he tried to give me the best direction on the things that i should do. When i don't listen to him and do the things that i should i always end up fucking my self over and usually someone else in the process. Today i have don just that again. And while I'm always really sorry when these types of things happen, especially when I've caused it myself, I continue to not do the things i should. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results..... and i tend to do this alot.....maybe i need to seek professional help. i wish i could just start all over again from like age 18...that would be great....but alas you don't get second chances with time....and so i have to make the best out of the situations that I've created.